Setting here watching the news about the bridge collapse in Minneapolis and I’m just wondering how long it is going to take jackass Bush to say it was terrorism. Anything that happens in this country has a strong potential to be classified as terrorism.

I can’t wait until the day, hopefully later this hurricane season when one strikes land, that Bush comes out and says bin Laden was behind it. Anything that could possibly drum up support for his delusional thinking can and will be a terroist act. It is flooding in Arizona and I’m pretty sure those damn terrorist have actually been using water bombing planes to drop water in the area!

The best thing of all is he wants us to think the war in Iraq is helping to prevent terrorism yet the potential for terrorism is always present. Hurricane bin Laden coming to town near you!

Xbiz has an article about Utah and their loathe for porn.

“I can’t tell you how many stories I’ve heard, how many lives I’ve seen destroyed by pornography,” Rep. Bradley Daw, the resolution’s sponsor, said. “This is an absolute scourge on our society.”

That’s an interesting way of wording it. Someone’s been watching a little too much BDSM porn themselves eh?

I would like to see this Bradley Daw produce a single porn watcher he has “seen destroyed” by pornography. If he could do this, I’d venture a bet that this person was “destroyed” far before he found porn on the Internet. My mental picture of this guy is something like the image found to the right. Obviously lost way before porn. Most likely a side effect of his polygamist father “touching” him a little too much as a child.

Now if this destroyed person was a porn performer then they made their choice. No one forced them into it. They signed the contract and knew beforehand what was going to take place. Just because they can’t cope and turn to drugs or alcohol afterwards is their problem. Many Police and correction officers do the same thing but no one says their profession is a scourge on society. They also knew what they were getting into and it was a choice they decided to live with.

Porn IS the Internet and will never go away no matter how hard anyone fights it. People want it and thus it’s provided. The 1% of idiots that want it gone are in a losing battle. It’s here to stay so learn to deal with it or get off the Internet you dim fucks.

Looks like Dog lost a court decision on his extradition to Mexico. He and his cohorts will have to stand trial for “illegal detention” steaming from his arrest of Andrew Luster in 2003. They each could face up to 4 years in a Mexican prison but Dog’s attorney says he’ll probably just have to pay a fine.

Why in the hell our government would allow this to even be an issue is beyond me. The only reason I can figure is the fact that Dog is a public figure so that’s why Mexican authorities are pursuing him with such vigor. Which is exactly the reason our jackass government should block his extradition. Dog put it on his shoulders to catch Luster when our idiot government couldn’t be bothered chasing a rapist.

If he only has to pay a fine then lesson learned and move on. However, if he has to spend any time whatsoever in prison then this is simply crazy. You can help Dog if you’re a fan. Here are some examples of ways to help. Either way, good luck Dog! Hope all turns out well.

Yesterday Bank of America decided it would be a good idea to allow illegal immagrants to obtain credit cards. Identification? Wha? Who needs it? It’s always good to know you can walk into a bank without them knowing who you are and getting a fat credit line. What’s to keep these people from going to ten different banks and getting cards from each? Oh, I see, you record their name. Gotcha!

It might be a worthwhile trip to head out to California, speak a little Spanish and get a few credit cards to max out and not pay for. Thankfully, those of us who have BoA accounts won’t have to pay for those illegals that decide not to pay up. Riiight

Hello friends. Welcome to the Journal. On June 9, 1999, my mother passed away. She was kept alive by machines for 11 days, and my family decided that day, it was time to end her suffering since that is the way my mother would want it. She did not want to live her life as a vegetable. I thought she might have a chance, but my family was set on the fact she was not going to come back as the woman we loved. In my heart from time to time, I wonder what if. My girlfriend says she felt my mother squeeze her hand, but she was not waking up. It is a day that is very difficult for me to talk about, and it was a day that changed the way life was forever.

Fast forward to today, a woman named Terri Schiavo, who has been in this condition for quite a while has died today. She spent 13 days off a feeding tube after her husband had it removed saying that Terri wanted it that way. Her parents fought and involved judges, which then brought in right wing conservatives fighting for the cause to keep her alive. Even while she was starving and decomposing, Florida governor Jeb Bush was interjecting himself into a matter that he had no business getting involved in.

MJ

Welcome to the Journal this week. So much to talk about in so little time so instead of tackling one issue, I am going to shoot on many different ones going on right now. This should be a fun filled read so get ready, get set, go mother fucker.

First off, what’s up with Condoleezza Rice hugging a sumo wrestler? That dude would break her in half. As a trick, maybe the Ambassador of Japan could push him over and say, “revenge for Hiroshima bitch.”

Speaking about revenge, isn’t the gun thing getting out of hand again? First Judge Joan Lefkow’s family is shot dead, then the preacher in Gurnee being gunned down during a service at a hotel in Brookfield, WI; and now this past week, a huge shootout in an Atlanta courthouse. What is up with our country? Has it come to the point we just shoot people we are mad at? So much for the moral values of the United States. By the way, most of these people were devout Christians. I think God needs to come down here and have a word with some his radical followers. No drinking, no guns, and no more court.

Michael Jackson, what a clown. What asshole comes to court in his pajamas? I know that the boy was there and he could have easy access, if you know what I mean. But really, what asshole comes to court in his pajamas?

After attending the premier for his upcoming movie, “Hostage“, Bruce Willis went to the after party where he apparently met up with Lindsay Lohan. Sources say they were enjoying a gropefest during which Lindsay’s pants were pulled down far enough to see the tatoo on her ass that read “La Bella Vista” (The Beautiful View). The groping continued upstairs in Willis’ suite where I hope he relieved himself on her face. Take that Demi, you whore!

It’s pretty much confirmed now, Lindsay will be nude in something before long. It could be a movie, Playboy or my personal favorite, a sextape but it will happen. You just hide and watch.

Story here.

The lady friend you’ve just started seeing is free for the day and wants to spend some time with you. She tells you to figure out something to do that will be romantic. Hrm, you think to yourself, I heard about this boat ride you can take on the Chicago River that shows the lovely architecture along its banks. So you get the tickets and tell her to meet you there at 11:00. The time has come and you are waiting for her by the dock when suddenly she appears looking more beautiful than anything in the world. What a perfect day this is going to be.

You both jump in the boat and start cruising along all the while engaging in lovely conversation and staring in awe at the amazing structures. You lean in for a kiss to express your immense joy… AND SLAM… you are hit with eight hundred pounds of human waste falling from the bridge you were about to pass under. What a lovely day indeed. Too bad you won’t be getting laid tonight because the bus driver for the worst band in the world, Dave Matthews, decided it was a good place to relieve the bus of extra weight.

Story here.

Good evening. This is the Jae Journal. I’m Michael Jae. Dan Rather’s last broadcast on CBS is today, and many people have mixed feelings about him making his exit.
“If you aren’t against Rather, that means you’re for him, which has become like supporting Saddam Hussein in some people’s minds,” says Tom Dorsey of the Louisville Courier Journal.

“Dan, let me be the one guy rude enough to tell you that you won’t be missed,” Jim Geraghty on National Review.

“A lot of people within CBS News - and outside CBS News - are angry about how the Bush story developed and was handled,” said Sandy Socolow, former executive producer of the CBS Evening News with Dan Rather.(1)

“Quite frankly, although Dan did a fine job, I would like to have seen Bob Schieffer (Rather’s replacement) there a long time ago,” said Walter Cronkite, the man who Rather replaced back in 1981.

No matter how you slice it, Dan Rather sucks.

It will be a joyous day so write it down on your calendar, March 9th, 2005, the day the douche bag of evening news took a hike to 60 Minutes to do what he wanted to do all along according to some accounts, be a journalist first, anchor second. Now correct me if I am wrong, isn’t that the place where we saw the scandal that rocked news as we know it? Why doesn’t he just go away? Is he on crack?

I guess it’s true when they say, once you find yourself entrenched in a career, it gets in your blood. Well, Rather I say you need a transfusion. You broke the number one rule of journalism, you did not check your facts. You’ve been in the business for so long, and you can’t do that. What’s wrong with you? Oh I’m sorry. You are a fucking liberal. My bad.

It’s people like Dan Rather who give credence to many of the conservative talking heads complaints about the liberal news media. They bitch and moan about how coverage is slanted towards the left, and this does give that some validity. However, who’s to say it’s only swinging that way? Do you see the news covering the gross details about how many human lives have been taken in Iraq? I am talking about both Soldiers and Iraqis. How dare the right talk about news being manipulated when many of them work at that GW factory known as Fox News Channel.

With the exception of O’Reilly, most of the people at Fox support the Republicans. Yes O’Reilly leans more towards that way, but this man apologized on network TV about how he rallied for the cause of the mystery WMDs. I felt he gave a heartfelt apology, not like that piece of crap Rather did when the jig was up on the documents regarding GW. What’s more, there have been times where the “Factor” has criticized the President. I wasn’t a big fan of his when I first started watching him, but he has grown on me.

The problem with many people on the left is that they will use anything to destroy the President. Rather is a great example. You’re a journalist dude, not a critic. A journalist reports, a critic criticizes. Know the difference, punk. When you have facts that you can support, then you fire the smoking gun. Until then, research, research, research. Many people do this. Aim first, fire second.

Rather has quite a history. When Nixon was in office, Rather went to ask a question and was applauded, Nixon asked if he was running for something, and Danny boy responded with “no are you?” He jumped the gun on the 2000 election being the first network to declare Al Gore the winner of the presidency. And then the man is a whack job as well. He walked of the set of the Evening News in 1987 because the U.S. Open delayed the start of the news stating only Republicans watch Tennis. A year before that, he was mugged saying that the attacker asked him “What’s the Frequency Kenneth?” (By the way, the R.E.M. song from the 1994 album Monster is inspired by this incident.) Yep, Dan Rather for all intensive purposes has his issues, but you do have do respect the fact he did things his way. I didn’t like him on the news, and thought he was arrogant, but I respect that he believed in something. I think that he went about things the wrong way though. He needed to use his head. Don’t become a journalist if you feel strongly about issues, become a talk show host.

So now we look at the evening news for the big 3. Tom Brokaw being replaced by Brian Williams at NBC, Rather replaced by Schieffer; that only leaves Peter Jennings at ABC. For the record, Jennings is the one my family watched growing up, and that’s whom I watch now. I don’t know why. Personally, I think network news is all the same. A happy go lucky old fuck sitting behind a teleprompter, reading to you like you were a 5 year old boy ready to go to sleep, splice in some sound bites, throw in your commercials, and hey, you have a newscast. Woo hoo. Dan Rather’s exit from the 5:30pm slot (that’s Chicago time kiddies) is not going to change the news one bit. If anything, it will improve CBS’s chance at becoming a credible source again.

We live in a day an age where others suppress people’s opinions; where reporters who go into war zones with a shitty web cam are considered brave but not stupid. Where we don’t know both sides of the story, we only get the one that matters. The one that makes us feel better and safer as a nation. They say no news is good news, and in this time, that saying may have never had more validity in its life than right now. We should be more concerned about which way this planet is spinning because some arrogant, know it all fucks hold all the keys to very lethal objects that can kill us all, we should be more concerned about how the American economy is being brought down to its knees faster than Jenna Jameson in some porn movie, we should be concerned about the fact the way children are being raised is not healthy. Parents should be making decisions of that subject based on life experiences, not what TV or government says. Instead of worrying about these important items, we worry about when Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards porn video is coming out (since they are divorced now), who has Paris Hilton’s phone number now because let’s face it, I am sure the world has it. And as Richard Roeper of the Sun Times put it, “worrying about Mischa Barton sneezing.” That show sucks and maybe she does too. I don’t know. This is America and how we do things. We are the walking dead, and we don’t have all the facts regarding anything important in this country. God Bless America? I think exorcism needs to be put in front of the blessing if you ask me.

Thanks for reading my shit,
MJ

A senator from Alaska, Ted Stevens, is in the news pushing for decency standards on cable and satellite broadcasts. Basically he wants to be able to fine shows such as those on HBO that are too racy for his liking. Even though we pay for those channels and we know what are on those channels when we buy them to bring into our homes, he thinks(I say he, it’s most likely someone paying him to say these things such as Clear Channel) they should still be scrutinized as if they were the open airwaves. To get this to happen, the First Amendment will have to be thrown out the window and carried away with the wind. If that actually does happen, we might as well be living in pre-war Iraq. At some point this shit has to stop so we can move forward as a country instead of trying to go back to the days of England. That’s right, we left England because we were rebels that wanted to do things our own way. If these dick heads don’t like it we should pack their asses up and send them back. Way too many aspects of this country have been moving backwards lately and eventually it’s going to catch up with us.

I can’t stand you religious fucks that have nothing better to do than push your agenda on someone else. If you want to be an uptight asshole that can’t go to the beach because you might see a hot chick in a bikini, that’s your right but don’t push your bullshit on every other person in this country so we have to be just as miserable as you. If you are tired of the bullshit check out StopFCC and sign the petition.

I guarantee you I get some emails regarding this post by some religious pricks with nothing better to do with their time than bug me. Damn hypocrites what are you doing here in the first place? Don’t like the channel? Change it asswipe. If you do decide to email me, rest assured the content of your emails will be placed on this site for others enjoyment. If I particularly dislike you then your contact info will also be placed for others to abuse you just like you have me. Just a friendly warning. Take heed jackass.

In other despicable news, our friend Charlie Sheen is getting divorced from his pregnant wife Denise Richards. He made it through the first pregnancy when she wasn’t putting out but the second proved too difficult. Women, just because you are pregnant, we are still horny. Deal with it or your ass will be left like the used condoms in our mistresses trashcan.