A USA Today columnist says Bush is the worst President ever.

“A year ago I criticized Hillary Clinton for saying “this (Bush) administration will go down in history as one of the worst.”

“She’s wrong,” I wrote. Then I rated these five presidents, in this order, as the worst: Andrew Jackson, James Buchanan, Ulysses Grant, Hoover and Richard Nixon. “It’s very unlikely Bush can crack that list,” I added.

I was wrong. This is my mea culpa. Not only has Bush cracked that list, but he is planted firmly at the top.”

Thank you for having a pair. Good Day!

Who knew evololution was a sham? The Jews, that’s who! They’ve been spreading this nasty rumor for generations according to Mr. Chisum, a Texas Congressman. (obviously Republican)

“Indisputable evidence - long hidden but now available to everyone - demonstrates conclusively that so-called ’secular evolution science’ is the Big Bang, 15-billion-year, alternate ‘creation scenario’ of the Pharisee Religion,” the memo said.

“This scenario is derived concept-for-concept from Rabbinic writings in the mystic ‘holy book’ Kabbala dating back at least two millennia.”

Mr. Chisum has since made an apology because being the “PC” society that we are, a public figure must be condemned for these kind of statements. Grow a pair and stand up for what you believe assface.

PS: I love Jews!

PPS: Maybe!

You wish your girlfriend was this commited. Then again, you wish your johnson required XXL comdoms too.

How about letting Schiavo take over for the Pope? No one would really be able to tell. Plug the tube back in, slap a white gown on her along with a dunce hat and she would be good to go. I’m fairly certain that very few people would actually notice. It would be the greatest hoax of all time just behind Tupac being dead. She speaks as well if not a little better than the Pope so that would be OK. Have someone setting on the floor below the window controlling her arm with a stick just like a puppet to bless the religious folk. He recently had a feeding tube inserted so no one would question that. It’s an infallible and extremely humorous plan. Even the Pope would have a laugh if his heart didn’t explode.

This is very funny and 100% true but not as funny as The Official Terri Schaivo Blog. If you don’t laugh at that then someone should remove your feeding tube because you obviously are a commie fag.

Update: Well damn, now the plug has been pulled on this idea. She had to go and die on us.

A phenomenon known as “goatse” has taken the internet by storm, in what has become the fad from hell that just won’t die. Don’t know what goatse is? It’s a picture, go look it up, can’t miss it. Unfortunately, no one can be told what the goatse is…you must see it for yourself….

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The lady friend you’ve just started seeing is free for the day and wants to spend some time with you. She tells you to figure out something to do that will be romantic. Hrm, you think to yourself, I heard about this boat ride you can take on the Chicago River that shows the lovely architecture along its banks. So you get the tickets and tell her to meet you there at 11:00. The time has come and you are waiting for her by the dock when suddenly she appears looking more beautiful than anything in the world. What a perfect day this is going to be.

You both jump in the boat and start cruising along all the while engaging in lovely conversation and staring in awe at the amazing structures. You lean in for a kiss to express your immense joy… AND SLAM… you are hit with eight hundred pounds of human waste falling from the bridge you were about to pass under. What a lovely day indeed. Too bad you won’t be getting laid tonight because the bus driver for the worst band in the world, Dave Matthews, decided it was a good place to relieve the bus of extra weight.

Story here.

This holiday season we have the Paris Hilton endorsed Attention Whore Starter Kit on sale for a very low price. Honestly I cannot believe we can offer this great kit for such a low price. Get yours now before they are gone.

This kit has great power that could very well lead to opportunities such as a staring role in the most ridiculous show ever to grace a television, a feeble modeling career and any other annoying thing you can think of.

Kit comes complete with:

• cell phone
• night vision camera
• random douche bag
• a one night stay in your choice of Hilton hotels
• little rat in pink tutu
• specific instructions detailing how to get on everyones nerves

It’s a perfect gift for that lovely attention whore in your life.

For the very small price of dignity, this great kit can be yours. Supplies are limited so get your order in fast. Limit 5 per household. This is not real. You can still send money if you want.

In 1621, after a hard and devastating first year in the New World the Pilgrim’s fall harvest was very successful and plentiful. There were sluts, whores, along with lesbians who had been kept in the barn since last year, more shine than could possible be drank, and they raised enough cannabis to keep them from being bored during the long coming winter. They proclaimed a day of thanksgiving and decided to call up the Indians to come over and party.

Finally the Indians showed up late because they like to make their grand entrance with their extravagant attire. The Pilgrims really didn’t like this because they wanted to play Texas Hold’em which takes all night anyway. When they finally started playing, they were passing around this fat doobie, drinking shine and having a great time.

Meanwhile, the lesbians where trying to get the whores to play with the sluts but they were having none of it. We like the dick and we’re going to wait on the guys to get done playing cards. The lesbians eventually got bored, decided to get drunk and fuck each other with corncobs.

Back at the table this one Indian, who they called Kills With Wind, let one rip and it was so bad they had to get up and go outside for some fresh air. They saw the lesbians in the barn going to town on each other and went to go watch. The sluts and whores saw the guys walking toward the barn and ran out to intervene. Why do you want them when you have us waiting on you? Well, one Pilgrim said, there is nothing like lesbians, it’s the greatest thing on earth. They want nothing to do with you guys. The blonde there, playing anal ring toss, tried to get us to fuck them earlier and we wouldn’t because we want you. Immediately the Pilgrim slapped the shit out of her. Why the fuck did you turn her down you stupid slut? Get the fuck in there and take her up on the offer and then you will be our ticket in. Off she went.

Once all the girls were hot and horny, they finally called the guys over. The guys jumped in and most had blown their load after the first few minutes because they hadn’t drank enough shine. The old, completely drunk Indian Chief, Bangs All Night, was still going an hour later. The rest of the guys went back to playing their Hold’em game. About dusk, one of the guys noticed the Chief had still not made it back. Damn that guy is a robot.

Finally the Chief walks back in and everyone stares in awe. One of the, shall we say funnay, Pilgrims happens to look down and the Chiefs manhood and noticed he still had a boner. The Chief notices him looking and says it takes four to six hours to go down. One Indian thinks to himself that he had heard somewhere about something taking for to six hours but could not remember what it was. All the Pilgrims started chanting Hef, Hef, Hef. The Indians were not sure what this meant but thought that it couldn’t be a bad thing.

It was a great party, the Indians and Pilgrims decided this would be an annual event to give thanks for another great year. Sadly, however, Chief Bangs All Night didn’t make it to the next event because his boner actually lasted more than thirty-six hours and that’s not good.

Anyway have a great and happy Thanksgiving.

I just want to personally thank all you fucktards that voted for Monkey Boy. Its great losing jobs at a record pace and having soldiers killed everyday because their hummers aren’t armored. I mean what kind of shit is that, you can’t get our soldiers armored vehicles? They are using sandbags and plywood for God’s sake. Sounds like he is doing a fabulous job for our troops in Iraq. I’m really not sure how you fucks think he’s doing a good enough job to re-elect him.

Not to fret, Miss Hillary will take the world by storm in 2008 and I can’t wait. Finally someone who will think non-egotistical instead of “I’ll blow your country off the map fag.” Although I really like blowing stuff up when it doesn’t involve soldiers being killed everyday just because they are not armored. How can you go to war not armored when you have the most sophisticated technology the world has ever known? I don’t get it, maybe you dumbass’ do but I certainly do not.